4.4.07

i have six or seven days to orientation. i have an puzzle to complete, a haircut to get and a dozen more little but annoying things to do. pressed for time.
actually i have nothing much to blog about. just typin so my writing skills won't get that rusty.
but i can't even get words to flow.
like personally, i feel that my previous posts had some kinda flow. this one's not having it.
this one's more like chit-chat (what normal blogs do) than making a point.
you know the term 'moving on'?
the term itself is so concrete yet to do it is not at all.
its not smth you can make up your mind to do and get it done, fullstop, period. even believing in it, after time, when you look at it, you'd find it didnt happen at all. not one bit.
yet all the while you got yourself believing you were somehow 'moving on'.
then you meet a certain object/event/human, and THUD! all the emotions surge back into your heart, gather memories as help from the brain, flood the whole heart, leaving you breathless.
breathless, miserable, and crying.
and your heart, with every pump, cringe in pain and there seem to be a hole, that cannot be filled.
why couldn't i move on?
of course moving on is smth we have to make up our mind to believe we can do it for it to happen. (i hope i make sense...) but it doesn't always happen.
moving on is a tricky business.
now, i suddenly remember a phrase, 'the past will never pass'

one day one will retain only the much treasured emotions and memories, the essence of it all, deem it as a beautiful episode of life, and one will settle that the past, will never return.
now that, will be moving on.
whenever i realise i have moved on from smth, when all i remember is 'how fortunate that happened to me', my heart feels exactly like when i am watching the sun rise. lifted and freed.

have you ever treasured someone/something so deeply that it tricks you to feeling that,
because it constantly replays in your mind, it hasn't moved into the past at all?

i hope, to slowly release it so it can find its rightful place in my sea of memories, that is, past memories. (yeah, 'past' in 'past memories' is redundant)

21:59

me

serf
13121990

"Happiness is enjoying, not owning" (Joanna, 2007)
"Happiness is a journey, not a destination" (Henry 2007)
"Gravity is the only constant"
GO TO THIS> The Nohari Window


i'm living everyday like my last. i don't have much time left, so allow me to be emotional, to treasure life, to think simple.

list of death-occurring work

none (:


links&credits

yvonne's blogshop
friend.
friend.
friend.
friend.

designer;jolene!








wishlist/wish-to-dos

new back-to-school bag
get a haircut
clean room
hang up puzzle
clothes!
completing the modules quite well
find a dance partner/ new cca
practise on the piano
lose weight
find an interest in music or dance